Americans Are Stupid

This is not a topic up for debate, but rather a scientifically proven fact.

(The reason for this post can be read here, at the wonderfully entertaining Fox News.)

To me, this article represents so much that is wrong with America, and here's why.

The title, which is "Al Qaeda Leader Dined at the Pentagon Just Months After 9/11" is a classic example of one of the media's most famous tools: misdirection.

If you read the article, and odds are you won't because I don't think anybody actually reads this blog, it will slowly be revealed to you (through the writer's unimaginative use of prose and even more dreadful ability to make this man sound threatening) that at the time of the luncheon, he was not a leader in Al-Qaeda nor was he important in any notable fashion except for having been questioned in the week after 9/11 due to a KNOWN connection to three of the hijackers. Although found innocent at the time, it still boggles my mind that he was invited to the luncheon. I can understand the White House, I suppose.

1. He is a Muslim, one of many invited to the White House as part of an Islamic Outreach Program.
2. He was an up-and-coming member of the Islamic community, cited to be the next great Imam.
3. Who wouldn't want to eat with someone who had a sweet beard like that?

But where the boggling comes in is when you compare that list of undeniably cool facts to the list of undeniably true facts.

1. He is a Muslim, which at the time was the equivalent of being a Japanese-American circa Pearl Harbor.
2. He was an up-and-coming member of the Islamic community, a militant faction of which had just perpetrated one of the deadliest terrorist attacks on American soil ever.
3. He was INTEROGATED by the GOVERNMENT due to his connection to not one or two, BUT THREE of the hijackers involved with 9/11.

I can understand that outreach is important, but surely there are enough Muslims in America that we don't need to invite the most explicitly terroristic ones to our national capital.

So, in retrospect, it was stupid, but what makes these even dumber is the fact that now, almost ten years later, Fox News is reporting on the event as though the White House was aware of who they were hosting at the time. To me, the best equivalent is like if you had O.J. Simpson over to your house around the same time as "The Towering Inferno" blazed its way from the silver screen and into the hearts of all Americans. Years later, somebody might point out that you hosted a murderous slow-driving lunatic, but at the time he was nothing other than an outstanding citizen!

News, reported in retrospect as in this dumb article, is never interesting. It is meant to be explosive, inflammatory, and thought-provoking and, at times, the news can be. It can topple dynasties and ruin presidencies and absolutely destroy a person's life, but the times that it has done this has either been the result of A) a reporter genuinely feeling there's a need for the people to act or B) a reporter noticing a situation that they can easily profit off of.

This article, which is currently the headlining piece on Fox News (notably beating out flimsy contender stories involving one where Oklahomans are attempting to change CONSTITUTIONAL LAW) preys upon the fact that Americans are stupid. Not only does it prey, it DEPENDS. It is not an opportunistic predator, seeing the occasional stupid person and swooping down to make them read whatever stupid story is printed on its leathery underbelly, but rather a predator which has adapted to hunt a specific mindset because there's so many of them!

If you were a lion, would you spend all day hunting down that damned gazelle who was captain of the long distance running team or would you learn how to hunt its much slower, less chewy, and far more succulent cousin who not only possesses no legs, but also will gladly pay you to kill it?

Media in America has adapted to this exact situation.

They don't need to snag Americans' attention via actual solid reporting on topics relevent to our interests both at home and abroad, they just need to flash a big headline across the screen that presents itself as irrefutable truth and Americans will sink their big dumb teeth right in.

If this article was attempting to be truthful, it would say... nothing at all. This isn't news. This isn't anything close to news. This might have been news if, during his stay at the White House while still an upstanding member of the United States, he had broken into several government computers (most likely while a nearby tour guide laughed and asked him to stop playing) and stolen national secrets.

As it is, he didn't. He went, ate lunch, was apparently heckled, and then left.

What makes this a 'news' story is that among the large number of Muslims who were invited the White House for foods and lulz, this braniac was the only one smart enough to later come out and reveal the fact that he isn't all for America.

Which is fine, really. 1st Amendment and all that. But this guy went ahead and told America, a country which thinks that the simulated drowning of its prisoners is super-dooper, that he was a member of Al-Qaeda, a group which had just catapaulted itself to the top of America's hit list (notable former members can be read about here, here, and here).

This guy is CLASSIC Dumb American. The kind of Dumb American who thinks that being American is a protect-all for some of the dumb things we say and do.

Let me clarify: As an American, you are allowed to say whatever you want. The right to do so is protected by the 1st Amendment, however it should be noted that when you SAY what you want to SAY it's probably best to not SAY that you are a member of a group which currently wants the government protecting your right to say what you want DEAD.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you, man, and certainly don't bite the hand that feeds you when the other hand has a gun pressed to your temple.

So this guy is stupid, his story is stupid, and the media is doubly stupid for reporting on this almost a decade after it would have been relevent if it was at all relevent.

But this is a problem that is seeping everywhere throughout America. Organizations are taking ADVANTAGE of the fact that Americans are stupid, lazy, and ignorant of the world with the media being one of the most noticable and blatant (while still managing to do it).

So here's a challenge for you; go onto a news site, any news site, and click on all the headlines that leap out at you. After you've gathered three or four, read the articles themselves and see whether or not the title of the article was in any way misleading or untrue. Odds are, they were.

This is happening everywhere, all the time, and we will never be able to stop it until we rise above it.

So to you Americans who aren't dumb, maybe it's best to stop watching the news at all, because it's only going to get worse.

We're Not So Different, You and I

Today's "Item(s) of Interest" can be found here and here.

Politics is a dirty game. There's no denying this. The origins of 'mud-slinging' can be traced back to the second ever presidential election when John Adams was running against his best bro Jefferson (see: Author (Declaration of Independence)) and suddenly discovered that if you say mean, possibly untrue things about your opponent, the ignorant public buys into it! He distributed pamphlets saying that Jefferson wanted to teach sex and other carnal delights in school. This would seem like some ridiculous old timey thing to do if the exact same thing wasn't happening in the world right now in your state with your politician.

But politics being what it is, that is to say 'necessary', we're simply going to have to deal with it.

I find Obama saying that Republicans will learn to work with him somewhat funny. What other option is there? Coup? Do you realize how long it's been since the American people cared enough to get off their ass to vote in a well publicized ELECTION let alone spur of the moment rebellion? The simple fact is we're a nation of extremely different people who all get along because of arbitrary rules declared 'inherent' or 'common-sense' in some cases and are too lazy to fight for what we actually want. You can argue 'home of the free' and 'land of the brave', but the simple fact is that if you told America tomorrow that the constitution is null and void you would not be met with a resounding chorus of "Why's?" but rather the firm echo of interest before the drug sales shoot up and prostitution becomes the national pasttime.

Bi-partisinship works about as well as any system where choices are either answered with 'yes' or 'no' with no in-between allowed. The Republicans and Democrats have been, by process of time and their own dumb machinations, put in the unlucky position of having to try and represent every single American everywhere. This would be great if their major motivation (getting voters) wasn't completely dependent on the presence of a major rival to exist. Not only is that the case, but the fact is that Republians can't possibly HOPE to represent every single American. There's just no possible way. Imagine trying to get everyone in your house to agree on a pizza topping, let alone important political decision. The fact is that there will always be a 'consensus' but very rarely 'agreement'. By having two separate and easily distinguishable (sometimes) parties, you give Americans the simple options.

But what about the un-simple options? There aren't just two parties, there are indeed dozens of poltical groups throughout America ranging from those that are more interested in saving the wildlife and those that are firmly against saving anything so delicious. Wait, I suppose that's Republicans and Democrats again. But it could be the Green Party and other interests. I'll bet you can't even name five other political groups that are active in America, and those you do will either be wrong or utterly misunderstood.

So we have two parties. They're not perfect, but that's what we got, swell.

This brings me to my second point.

The War in Afghanistan is now a double digit midget. It's happened. We've been there 10 years (almost half my lifespan) and are about as close to ending it as Jersey Shore is to winning an Emmy. Now the media is reporting on the Taliban holding peace talks with Karzai in order to end the war. Fantastic!

War over, the troops are back home, everybody wins! Wait...

Imagine if the Republicans and Democrats had to agree to rule the country one way and one way only. They would, eventually, come to an agreement that made the majority, but not everyone, happy. Swell and dandy! The Union and Confederacy rejoin and life goes on. But what about those that aren't content with the way things are done? Well in America, they would go and form political parties with a central platform key to their interests and then lobby for bills to be passed by a Congress made up of people they don't very well enjoy.

In the Middle East it's kind of like that too, except their political parties are a bit more assertive.

Insurgency groups, with proper support and motivation, can pop up overnight, fueled by nothing more than the rumor of a convoy coming down the road or mosque being looked at funny by an Imperialistic invaderfidel. And the simple fact is that even if the Taliban, the most recognized terrorist group in the country, were to agree to stop fighting, that still leaves a whole messload of others willing to fill its shoes.

So peace isn't quite that easy, but America despises the idea of negotiating with them.

Why? The answer is simple really, two little numbers that bring to mind great tragedy and American flags. 9-11.

That much we all know, but personally I'd think that Americans could empathize a bit more.

I know, I know, we don't approve of violent insurgencies or radical ideas that don't quite line up with the commonly accepted, especially when that can lead to an irreversible act of violence that rocks the very world to its core. But the Taliban are simply an interest group, looking out for what they feel is the right thing to do and doing so to the best of their ability. Unluckily for us, they feel the 'right thing' is us pasted all over the streets of their country in unrecognizable puddles of goo.

But hey, let's let them try for peace now and maybe democracy will come later.

Kim Jong Il's Son Against Dynastic Succesion (Cause He Wasn't Picked)

You can read the full story over at the all knowing Associated Press.

North Korea will be a topic of interest of me until its eventual collapse or expansion into a global power. It's the little country that shouldn't exist, at least not in a modern and humanitarian world wherin the United Nations is around to prevent one person from making several million people's lives an utter and Complete. Living. Hell.

But hey, politics being what it is, who are we (the most powerful nation in the world) to step in and prevent a totalitarian dictator from falsifying tawdry things like elections just to remain in power?

Oh wait. There was that time.

But hey, we're living in a much more modern time where we don't just invade a country for no good reason.

I think.

But what constantly confuses me about the "North Korea Situation" is that there should be, by no means, a "North Korea Situation" at all. North Korea as it is today exists only because during the Korean War it had the backing of its big communist buddies China and to some extent Russia. But seeing as Russia went along and embraced democracy and capitalism and all the ecnomic recession that those entail and China is far too busy trying to keep its hordes of child laborers from figuring out how to escape their manacles, you'd think that the United States and South Korea (See: that little country that North Korea is constantly threatening to destroy.) would have realized that, politically, there are FAR more justifications for an invasion of North Korea than there are for any other country we currently disagree with.

With some close runner ups.

However, because Americans stopped enjoying a good ol' fashioned invasion like the old days when invading a country to overthrow a bloodthirsty dictator was considered good manners, we have continued to allow Kim Jong Il to play his real life version of The Sims (now with more torture!) for the obvious reason of nobody in the world giving a solid ounce of horse poo what's happening in North Korea.

This brings me to the topic of today's article: Dynastic Succession!

There are a few issues I have with this. The first and most obvious is that I'm in no way included in any royal lines of succession anywhere in the world (despite my hopes of becoming a Baron of Sealand.) and thus will never benefit from it. My second issue is slightly more obvious: DYNASTIC SUCCESSION MAKES NO SENSE.

Let's break it down.

The most famous dynasty in the modern world (or at least most well known to us Dumb Americans) is the British Royal Family.

Given that the average American's grasp of our own governmental procedures is shaky at best, non-existent on average, it's unlikely that many people can understand the robe-wearing, wig-pimpin' parlimentiary procedures of that country whose indifference made our existence as a nation possible. We view the Queen as that adorable old lady who shows up at official functions and is apparently in great need of saving by God (at least judging by what any British character in any media forum says ever).

What most people don't understand is that, on paper, the Queen is who she is because God wants her to be.

Now to be fair, dynastic succession's origins date back to a time when the average peasant was about as bright and world-wise as a turnip (which, coincidentally, was their third biggest export next to mud and outcries about the violence inherent in the system) and readily believed (or wisely accepted) that the man holding a sword to their throat should be in charge because God told him to.

What boggles my mind is that, to this day, people continue to honor these lines of succession. Granted, England does this with much fanfare and a grain of salt, the Queen has about as much actual authority as the Assistant to the Regional Manager.

North Korea, however, does this despite there being NO ACTUAL ESTABLISHED LINE OF SUCCESSION.

Instead, Kim Jong Il just figured that since, hey, Daddy gave me my own country- why not pass it on to my own kids?

This brings us to another issue of succesion: successors are not always qualified for the role.

It's all fine and well if you take the ruling of a country seriously enough to care about those underneath you, but seeing as Kim Jong Il cares for his people about as much as you worry about whether or not the ants your frying with a microscope can feel pain, odds are he hasn't exactly spent the best amount of time grooming his son for the role, especially given that he studied for 25 years underneath his father before ever being given a scrap of power, let alone being made into a General.

The third son, however, has not seen this same level of attention. Instead, he has been hidden from the public eye up until now and then elevated to a high ranking position. At least Kim Jong Il had the common courtesy to pretend to start at the lowest rung and work his way up the numerous tiers fo the Korean Workers' Party.

See, in starting at the bottom Kim Jong Il has the slight advantage of actually knowing something about politics. Say what you want about his hairdo and funny glasses (as well as his horrible treatment of Hanz Britz), Kim Jong Il can grease the cogs of the political machine pretty well. So well, in fact, that America, (us) the country that invades smaller and far more poorly armed countries on a fairly regular basis (and has become quite good at it), still has yet to do anything about the North Korea Situation.

Personally I blame this on the indifference of Americans in general.

Our political system is run by us, Americans, the average day-to-day Joe. Without us, there would be no system (in theory). We make it work, we vote in people who represent OUR interests and can make what we want to happen. Now, while this has been fantastic for giving billions of dollars to corporations who don't need it and ensuring that the poor can suck on the fat tit of welfare for another few months, it hasn't worked out so well for the North Koreans, who have been suffering famine and the distinction of being the most "booed" at team competing in the Olympics since the downfall of the USSR.

But hey, at least the eldest son had the balls to say something right?

Hopefully he gets to keep them. Historically, North Korea is not kind to dissentors.

On the bright side, North Korea is inheriting a pretty weak looking tub o' Kim genes that is more likely to declare Twinkies the national food of North Korea than war on South Korea.

That's all for now.

A New Beginning

Given that this blog has become stagnant and pointless, I deleted all of the older posts. I'm going to restart it and, rather than attempting to make my day-to-day life interesting, make it a place for me to write down my opinion on whatever the news is reporting.

And whatever else I feel like writing.

If I keep posting.