Kim Jong Il's Son Against Dynastic Succesion (Cause He Wasn't Picked)

You can read the full story over at the all knowing Associated Press.

North Korea will be a topic of interest of me until its eventual collapse or expansion into a global power. It's the little country that shouldn't exist, at least not in a modern and humanitarian world wherin the United Nations is around to prevent one person from making several million people's lives an utter and Complete. Living. Hell.

But hey, politics being what it is, who are we (the most powerful nation in the world) to step in and prevent a totalitarian dictator from falsifying tawdry things like elections just to remain in power?

Oh wait. There was that time.

But hey, we're living in a much more modern time where we don't just invade a country for no good reason.

I think.

But what constantly confuses me about the "North Korea Situation" is that there should be, by no means, a "North Korea Situation" at all. North Korea as it is today exists only because during the Korean War it had the backing of its big communist buddies China and to some extent Russia. But seeing as Russia went along and embraced democracy and capitalism and all the ecnomic recession that those entail and China is far too busy trying to keep its hordes of child laborers from figuring out how to escape their manacles, you'd think that the United States and South Korea (See: that little country that North Korea is constantly threatening to destroy.) would have realized that, politically, there are FAR more justifications for an invasion of North Korea than there are for any other country we currently disagree with.

With some close runner ups.

However, because Americans stopped enjoying a good ol' fashioned invasion like the old days when invading a country to overthrow a bloodthirsty dictator was considered good manners, we have continued to allow Kim Jong Il to play his real life version of The Sims (now with more torture!) for the obvious reason of nobody in the world giving a solid ounce of horse poo what's happening in North Korea.

This brings me to the topic of today's article: Dynastic Succession!

There are a few issues I have with this. The first and most obvious is that I'm in no way included in any royal lines of succession anywhere in the world (despite my hopes of becoming a Baron of Sealand.) and thus will never benefit from it. My second issue is slightly more obvious: DYNASTIC SUCCESSION MAKES NO SENSE.

Let's break it down.

The most famous dynasty in the modern world (or at least most well known to us Dumb Americans) is the British Royal Family.

Given that the average American's grasp of our own governmental procedures is shaky at best, non-existent on average, it's unlikely that many people can understand the robe-wearing, wig-pimpin' parlimentiary procedures of that country whose indifference made our existence as a nation possible. We view the Queen as that adorable old lady who shows up at official functions and is apparently in great need of saving by God (at least judging by what any British character in any media forum says ever).

What most people don't understand is that, on paper, the Queen is who she is because God wants her to be.

Now to be fair, dynastic succession's origins date back to a time when the average peasant was about as bright and world-wise as a turnip (which, coincidentally, was their third biggest export next to mud and outcries about the violence inherent in the system) and readily believed (or wisely accepted) that the man holding a sword to their throat should be in charge because God told him to.

What boggles my mind is that, to this day, people continue to honor these lines of succession. Granted, England does this with much fanfare and a grain of salt, the Queen has about as much actual authority as the Assistant to the Regional Manager.

North Korea, however, does this despite there being NO ACTUAL ESTABLISHED LINE OF SUCCESSION.

Instead, Kim Jong Il just figured that since, hey, Daddy gave me my own country- why not pass it on to my own kids?

This brings us to another issue of succesion: successors are not always qualified for the role.

It's all fine and well if you take the ruling of a country seriously enough to care about those underneath you, but seeing as Kim Jong Il cares for his people about as much as you worry about whether or not the ants your frying with a microscope can feel pain, odds are he hasn't exactly spent the best amount of time grooming his son for the role, especially given that he studied for 25 years underneath his father before ever being given a scrap of power, let alone being made into a General.

The third son, however, has not seen this same level of attention. Instead, he has been hidden from the public eye up until now and then elevated to a high ranking position. At least Kim Jong Il had the common courtesy to pretend to start at the lowest rung and work his way up the numerous tiers fo the Korean Workers' Party.

See, in starting at the bottom Kim Jong Il has the slight advantage of actually knowing something about politics. Say what you want about his hairdo and funny glasses (as well as his horrible treatment of Hanz Britz), Kim Jong Il can grease the cogs of the political machine pretty well. So well, in fact, that America, (us) the country that invades smaller and far more poorly armed countries on a fairly regular basis (and has become quite good at it), still has yet to do anything about the North Korea Situation.

Personally I blame this on the indifference of Americans in general.

Our political system is run by us, Americans, the average day-to-day Joe. Without us, there would be no system (in theory). We make it work, we vote in people who represent OUR interests and can make what we want to happen. Now, while this has been fantastic for giving billions of dollars to corporations who don't need it and ensuring that the poor can suck on the fat tit of welfare for another few months, it hasn't worked out so well for the North Koreans, who have been suffering famine and the distinction of being the most "booed" at team competing in the Olympics since the downfall of the USSR.

But hey, at least the eldest son had the balls to say something right?

Hopefully he gets to keep them. Historically, North Korea is not kind to dissentors.

On the bright side, North Korea is inheriting a pretty weak looking tub o' Kim genes that is more likely to declare Twinkies the national food of North Korea than war on South Korea.

That's all for now.